Growing Pains...

Growing pains...  Not just an '80's sitcom.  Right?  :)  There are emotional, and physical growing pains in all aspects of life.  They are just different for every child in just about every situation.  My daughter, S., has actual growing pains in her legs.  Since coming home, 3 years ago, she has grown nearly 12 inches.  That's a lot.  It's because of the nutrition, and quite possibly the hormones in our food here in the U.S.  However, don't quote me on that.  I have no official research or anything to back that up, just mother's intuition.  ;)  Every single night, S.'s legs hurt.  Every night.  I am consulting with several doctors.  They still believe it is growing pains.  I am looking into it further though.  She wants children's pain reliever every night.  As her mother, I worry about this.  Should she have children's pain reliever every single night?  I consulted a doctor.  The doctor said Tylenol can be given every night, but Ibuprofen can only be given twice a week.  I would have guessed the opposite.  Hmmm.  I do worry about the situation.  I pray about it.  I consult doctors, family, and friends about it.  I'll keep you posted as to how that turns out.  

Bathroom breaks! Everyone needs them....

Anyone who is a teacher will understand, some days, we just don't get bathroom breaks.  I might be just leaving my room, in between classes, to go to the bathroom, and a student walks in and asks for something.  Then the phone rings, or another adult comes in and asks for something.  And, so it goes in between every class.  ...  It is particularly difficult during standardized testing days.  Everything is super top secret, and secured.  The state doesn't want any secrets of the test getting out.  So, teachers are left proctoring tests for hours one end, sometimes as many as 3 hours in a row with no break.  It is very difficult.  I, personally, nearly peed my pants today after 3 hours of secured standardized testing.  I ran to the bathroom when the 3 hour period was up, and I am sure that had someone been in the bathroom, I would have peed my pants.  I'm just saying.  Everyone needs bathroom breaks.  Even teachers, and moms need bathroom breaks.  :)  I hope I don't pee my pants tomorrow.  Fingers crossed.  ;)

(Lost my blog for awhile. LOL.) Adoption Almost 3 years home...

I haven't blogged in a looooooong time.  Like  a year or something.  I've been looking through the blogs I used to follow, and it seems like there are many people who do not blog anymore.  It's not in vogue anymore I guess.  Probably with facebook, twitter, instagram, etc., blogging is outdated.  However, I like to write, so I think I'll still check in now and then, especially now that I found my blog again.  LOL.

We are in a very good place.  :)  I miss my little teeny girls, but I'm also loving here and now.  :)  In one week, it will be 3 years!!!  YES, 3 years since Sonjena came home, on February 7th, 2012.  I'll probably post again that day.  ;)

3 years.  3 amazing, hard, beautiful, agonizing, interesting, years.  We've all grown.  In every way possible.

I loved S. from the start.  From the moment I saw her picture, I loved her.  (It was the same with Emily, I loved her the second I saw her.)  I know that's not how it is for everyone, but that's how it was for me.  And, I think they both loved me right away too.  However, I'm not sure S. trusted me right away.  And, I definitely don't think she "needed" me like a mother needs to be needed, right away.  Those things took time, it was a slow, and painful process for her.  It was a process worth going through, for all of us.  But, it was a process.  :)

When S. first came home, she didn't want to trust, she didn't want to need a mother's love, and be disappointed again.  I held her.  I rocked her to sleep.  I hugged, and kissed her.  I tickled her.  Played games with her.  Read to her.  Took her to church, lessons, play dates.  Etc.  She still couldn't quite "need" me, "trust" me,  relax into a family.

She's still horribly afraid of being abandon.  She worries, and gets nervous if I'm a little late.  If she can't see me when we are out together.  And, when she is with a sitter, she wonders if I'm coming back.  However, little by little, and slowly, very slowly, that has changed.

She does come and sit on my lap now, without me making her.  :)  She reaches for my hand to hold now, sometimes, before I reach for hers.  :)  She told me she missed me after school the other day.  :)  Sometimes, she says, "I love you," for no reason at all.  Sometimes she asks for help with various things.

She no longer throws fits, and temper tantrums, rolling on the floor kicking and screaming, although she still pouts at times, but she does it less and less.

S. is an amazingly strong resilient girl.  She's almost 8 and 1/2.  Her laugh is adorable.  She loves to sing to the radio.  She loves to dance at parties.  She does well in school.  She likes to help around the house.  She takes pride in looking cute.  She's good at sports, basketball, tennis, and soccer.  She's silly and funny.  She's stubborn.  She's my girl.  I lover her so.

So, to the 2 people who read my blog, good night, I've missed blogging with you.  I'll post again soon.  :)

Adoption....

Adoption is different for everyone, just like giving birth is different for everyone. / I've heard some adoptive moms say that their love grows in stages. It gets stronger, and stronger as they get to know their child. That seems realistic, and normal even. / I fell head over heals in love with both my daughters the second I saw their pictures. That sounds strange, but it's true. And, adopting S. older has had its' challenges, but I still have loved her fiercely through all of it. / One of the keys I think, with all kids, but of course, in particular with my kids is giving them as much attention as I can. Real attention. Looking in their little faces, and listening to them, laughing with them, hugging them. It's good for them, and for me. / I find myself feeling guilty if I choose to do other things while they are awake. Those are precious moments that don't last forever. / I like checkers, so I play it with them often. I also like to read with them. / Today they helped me take down the Christmas decorations. It was amazing. They really helped. They even carried storage boxes downstairs. It was awesome. / Sometimes it's hard to let go of that stuff, and let kids help, but it is very important to allow them to. It gives them as sense of importance, and feeling needed, and useful. It also teaches them how to do stuff like pack a storage box, or wrap delicate objects. It gives them confidence that they can do these tasks, and be trusted to do them. I think it's a big mistake to want things so perfectly, that you don't let kids help. It's mistake that I have made and that I am going to try not to make anymore. Those decorations don't matter much at all compared to how much my daughters' sense of self matter. / Letting go of Christmas is always hard. We had such a great time together over break, sledding, reading, movies, family, out to eat, shopping, crafts, children's museum, bowling etc. It was just tons of fun. / It's so difficult for me to go back to work. I wish I could stay home all the time. But, as a single mom, that's just not ever possible. However, I love being their Mommy more than anything. / I have strep throat. I've had it for weeks. A doctor told me some people can get rid of it on their own. I'm not one of those people. I now have an anitbiotic. / It's a cold day today, and tomorrow, no school. Extra precious moments at home with my girls. Love.

Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year...

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to my two or three followers. :) / It's been a great year in many ways, and also a difficult year in some ways. / S.'s adjustment continues. Even though things are better, and better each day, there are still slips backwards here, and there that remind me of the delicate nature of her adjustment. She forces me to grow in patience and love each day. :) / S.'s communication skills continue to evolve. I can't be sure if she really understands, and enjoys frustrating me, or if there is still much she does not understand. :) She forgets things continually. Short term memory seems to be a problem, or like I said above, she thinks it's funny. :) Or a little of both. / E. still has her hard days adjusting to sharing the spot light. She's a really good big sister. She's caring, and sweet, and helpful. E. still has a hard time bouncing back from regular sister stuff, like getting her feelings hurt, it takes her a minute, but she comes around. S. sure does have a talent for teasing E. I have to say. / My car broke down for good this time. With adoption loans still for S., and many other bills, it's way less than ideal. I have a wonderful friend who loaned me their car, and another wonderful friend who is going to give me a car. Amazing miracles. I am amazed. I am blessed to know these people and call them friends. / S. has grown 8 inches, and gained 20 lbs since coming home, it will be 2 years in february. Crazy growth spurt. My love for he has grown in leaps and bounds over these two years as well. I've loved her since I first saw her picture, but my love for her continues to grow, and deepen. It's hard to believe, but it does.

Holiday Blues

Little S. is acting up a little. I think because of the holidays. I think it's common for kids that come home a little older to have a harder time on special occasions. Lately, she seems to think when I tell her to do something that it is optional. :) Silly kid. / Oh, and she said to me, "I was bad last year, and I still got presents from Santa." LOL. / I told her she has to try her hardest, and be mostly good, and Santa will forgive her for little mistakes. She is a crack up. / E. is doing really well in basketball. She works hard at it, and it's paying off. / My girls are such blessings to me. I love the holiday season with kids. That's what it's all about, the kids.

Sunday...

Sunday. So bitter sweet. :) Chin up. :) We can do this. :)