E.'s Birthday Tinker

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S.'s Birthday Tinker

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Sunday, January 6, 2013

Food fight...

Food fight....
Hmmm.  Everyone is going to handle it differently.  It is so personal how we handle things.  However, I do have a little advice for anyone who wants it.  And my advice is...

"Don't do it."

Don't have the food fight.  Kids naturally know how much they "need".  Kids will naturally stop when they are full, if you will let them.

When children first get home from the orphanage, they are hungry.  In more than one way, right?  And, they can't get enough food, or attention.  Let them eat.  Don't fight it.  It will even out.  If you fight with them about it, it will never even out.  They will fight back for ever, and always want more. 

But once they really feel they can have as much as they want, whenever they want to, they won't be so worried about it, and it will even out.

When S. came home, she was an itty bitty 5 and 1/2 year old.  She was malnurished, and weak.  I told her with the computer translater that we would always have food, and that she could eat whenever she wanted to.  I showed her all our food in the kitchen.

The reason I did this is, because I talked to a 15 year old adoptee, who had come home around 5 or 6.  I asked her what her favorite memory from when she first came home was.  This young lady told me that when her mother showed her all the food, and told her there would always be food.   She said she was so relieved.  I took that advice, and did the same for my daughter.

At first S. didn't want to eat.  I made her try everything, at least one bite.  She went through a spitting phase, where she would spit her food on the floor, sort of like a baby or toddler.  I still made her try one bite of everything.

Then, she went through the can't get enough phase.  She once ate 5 tacos.  This itty bitty 5 and 1/2 year old, ate 5 tacos.  :)  No kidding.  It scared me a little.  :)  Hee.  Hee.

Now, at almost a year home, (we are at 11 months home), she is evening out.  She instinctively eats what she needs.  She is not obsessed.  She doesn't over eat. 

I didn't fight it.  I just let her go.  I let her eat what she wanted or felt she "needed", and she came through it.  She's starting to feel secure.  I am very blessed.  I love her so. 

Just in general, another word of advice for parents who want it, the "clean plate club" is for the birds.  No one should make their kids clean their plates, in my opinion.  Back in the day, the '70's, almost every parent made their kids clean their plate.  It's no good.  It just makes you into an adult, who feels this underlying need to clean their plate, instead of listening to your instincts.  I believe "clean plate club" equals over weight adults.  I really do.  But again, it's all very personal how we handle these things.

Parenting sure isn't easy.  And we all love our kids, and try so hard for them.  Love is the most important thing, for sure.  That's all for now.  Good luck.  :)


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