Today...

Today we went to a garage sale.  I found some good stuff for the girls.  It was fun.

Then we went to soccer.  The girls had a double header.  The girls played hard.  They won one game, and lost one.

Then tonight we went to see a roller derby for the first time.  It was super cool.  It was way cooler than I thought it would be.  Those women are tough, and good skaters.

I just wrote a really really long entry about public education, and everything that is happening to it right now.  I just don't know if I want to post it or not.  :)  Stay tuned.  :)

First Moms, and/or birth Moms....

We love you.  We are thankful for you.  We are forever indebted to you.  For your precious angels we thank you. 

I wasn't sure what to do.  I wasn't sure if I should bring it up.  I mean, if it's not hurting their hearts, why should I make it an issue, if it's not an issue.  I was thinking about, and praying about it, not knowing what to do.

Then, at the very moment I was thinking about it, S said, "mom, I can't remember what my first mom looks like."  (This admission was a huge relief to me, in so many ways.  She's been making up what her first mom looked like, which is fine too, but she would say things like, my first mom was tall, and had yellow hair.  I don't think so honey.  Yes, she did.  Okay, honey.  etc.)  So, her admitting to me, that she did not remember symbolized a new level of trust, a new level of truth.

I said, "well, she probably looked like you."
Then I said, "do you think about your first moms on Mother's Day."
E was quick, "no."
S said, "Kinda's." 
E said, "maybe a little, sort of."
I said, "do you want to do something for your first moms for mothers day?"
E said, "like what?"
I said, "Well, some people light a candle, and say a prayer.  Some people buy flowers, and plant them in the garden.  You could write a letter, or make a card.  I know, we could buy balloons, and say what we want to say to them, and release the balloons."
Both girls said, "yeah."

So, we had a first mom ceremony.  I let the girls each pick out a balloon. 
We went outside, and they took turns, S. went first.
"Happy Mother's Day!  I love you!"  And she jumped up, and pushed her balloon into the sky.

Then E. went, "Happy Mother's Day!  I love you!  I hope you have a great day!"

Then, I said, "C.C. I am so thankful to you for taking good care of S. in your tummy, and until she was 3 years old.  I am so thankful to you for trusting me to take care of our daughter.  I love her so much."

Then I said, "S. I am so thankful to you for taking good care of E. while she was in your tummy.  I am so thankful that you trust me to care for our daughter.  I love her so much."

The girls just smiled, and acted silly the entire time.  :)  They were more concerned with how their balloon was flying than anything else.  :)  So cute.

Short Term Memory Problems...

Short term memory problems seem to be part of the deal with older adoptees.  At least with my S.  She has real problems with short term memory.  And other mental processing problems.  It's probably because of neglect, followed by over stimulation.  I'm sure she is on stimulation over load.  She has learned so much over the past year.  I can't imagine learning all that she has learned, and in a new language.  I might get confused now, and then too.

Tonight I served dinner, and put corn on her plate, a hot dog, mac & cheese.  (She had been at a play date.)  While she was eating, she looked up at me, and said, "What did you guys have for dinner?"  What?  Sort of funny.

Teachers...

Public education is one of the hallmarks of a free society.  Without public education, we are not truly free.  The things that are going on in this country against education right now are ludicrous. 

It's teacher appreciation week.  I had teachers that made huge differences in my life.  It's one of the reasons I wanted to become a teacher.  I remember band, and art, sewing, and government, typing, and English, econ, and business math, algebra, and French.  I remember drama club, and dance team, and prom.  It was amazing.  Not only the subject matter, but the life lessons my teachers passed along were priceless.  I can't begin to pay my debt with two words, but I will try anyway.  Thank you.

If a teacher made a difference in your life, let them know.  We are a dying breed.

Better day...

Little miss S. was back to herself today.  Well, a little more loving than her normal.  I think she was trying to make up for the weekend.  She kept jumping on me, and hugging me over and over.  I don't really care why.  I'm just grateful.  :)

Promised Land...

If you have not yet watched Matt Damon's Promised Land, you should.  It's an important movie.  It explains really well what fracking companies do, how they operate. 

Stop fracking everyone.  Just stop.  If we don't have clean water, nothing much else matters, does it?

Little Stinker...

Someone was a little stinker today.  S. was just having trouble relating to me in a pleasant way today.  I don't know what to do with that.  She grunted at me a couple of times.  She pushed me away when I tried to hug her.  She kept doing things, she knew she shouldn't.  It breaks my heart.

There were many good days inbetween the last post and this one.  I thought we were getting to a different place.  But, now, I think we are getting to a different place again, but not one I want to be at.  15 months home, and a bump in the road.  It's to be expected, I suppose, with all she's been through.  Who knows what's running through her little mind.  I asked her why all day long, she just kept saying, "I don't know."

I gave her lots of time outs (or time ins, I stay in sight), and a lot of hugs, and a lot of talks.  I don't know what is sinking in, and what isn't.  She seems to be sliding backwards a little bit right now.  I hope and pray it will get back to normal.  And, in my heart, I know it will.  Come on baby girl, you can do it.  I love you little S., with all my heart, and soul.

From one of today's readings in church today, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."  Are there any more comforting words in world?  Peace be with you all.