Adoption....

Adoption is different for everyone, just like giving birth is different for everyone. / I've heard some adoptive moms say that their love grows in stages. It gets stronger, and stronger as they get to know their child. That seems realistic, and normal even. / I fell head over heals in love with both my daughters the second I saw their pictures. That sounds strange, but it's true. And, adopting S. older has had its' challenges, but I still have loved her fiercely through all of it. / One of the keys I think, with all kids, but of course, in particular with my kids is giving them as much attention as I can. Real attention. Looking in their little faces, and listening to them, laughing with them, hugging them. It's good for them, and for me. / I find myself feeling guilty if I choose to do other things while they are awake. Those are precious moments that don't last forever. / I like checkers, so I play it with them often. I also like to read with them. / Today they helped me take down the Christmas decorations. It was amazing. They really helped. They even carried storage boxes downstairs. It was awesome. / Sometimes it's hard to let go of that stuff, and let kids help, but it is very important to allow them to. It gives them as sense of importance, and feeling needed, and useful. It also teaches them how to do stuff like pack a storage box, or wrap delicate objects. It gives them confidence that they can do these tasks, and be trusted to do them. I think it's a big mistake to want things so perfectly, that you don't let kids help. It's mistake that I have made and that I am going to try not to make anymore. Those decorations don't matter much at all compared to how much my daughters' sense of self matter. / Letting go of Christmas is always hard. We had such a great time together over break, sledding, reading, movies, family, out to eat, shopping, crafts, children's museum, bowling etc. It was just tons of fun. / It's so difficult for me to go back to work. I wish I could stay home all the time. But, as a single mom, that's just not ever possible. However, I love being their Mommy more than anything. / I have strep throat. I've had it for weeks. A doctor told me some people can get rid of it on their own. I'm not one of those people. I now have an anitbiotic. / It's a cold day today, and tomorrow, no school. Extra precious moments at home with my girls. Love.