E.'s Birthday Tinker

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

S.'s Birthday Tinker

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Saturday, January 31, 2015

(Lost my blog for awhile. LOL.) Adoption Almost 3 years home...

I haven't blogged in a looooooong time.  Like  a year or something.  I've been looking through the blogs I used to follow, and it seems like there are many people who do not blog anymore.  It's not in vogue anymore I guess.  Probably with facebook, twitter, instagram, etc., blogging is outdated.  However, I like to write, so I think I'll still check in now and then, especially now that I found my blog again.  LOL.

We are in a very good place.  :)  I miss my little teeny girls, but I'm also loving here and now.  :)  In one week, it will be 3 years!!!  YES, 3 years since Sonjena came home, on February 7th, 2012.  I'll probably post again that day.  ;)

3 years.  3 amazing, hard, beautiful, agonizing, interesting, years.  We've all grown.  In every way possible.

I loved S. from the start.  From the moment I saw her picture, I loved her.  (It was the same with Emily, I loved her the second I saw her.)  I know that's not how it is for everyone, but that's how it was for me.  And, I think they both loved me right away too.  However, I'm not sure S. trusted me right away.  And, I definitely don't think she "needed" me like a mother needs to be needed, right away.  Those things took time, it was a slow, and painful process for her.  It was a process worth going through, for all of us.  But, it was a process.  :)

When S. first came home, she didn't want to trust, she didn't want to need a mother's love, and be disappointed again.  I held her.  I rocked her to sleep.  I hugged, and kissed her.  I tickled her.  Played games with her.  Read to her.  Took her to church, lessons, play dates.  Etc.  She still couldn't quite "need" me, "trust" me,  relax into a family.

She's still horribly afraid of being abandon.  She worries, and gets nervous if I'm a little late.  If she can't see me when we are out together.  And, when she is with a sitter, she wonders if I'm coming back.  However, little by little, and slowly, very slowly, that has changed.

She does come and sit on my lap now, without me making her.  :)  She reaches for my hand to hold now, sometimes, before I reach for hers.  :)  She told me she missed me after school the other day.  :)  Sometimes, she says, "I love you," for no reason at all.  Sometimes she asks for help with various things.

She no longer throws fits, and temper tantrums, rolling on the floor kicking and screaming, although she still pouts at times, but she does it less and less.

S. is an amazingly strong resilient girl.  She's almost 8 and 1/2.  Her laugh is adorable.  She loves to sing to the radio.  She loves to dance at parties.  She does well in school.  She likes to help around the house.  She takes pride in looking cute.  She's good at sports, basketball, tennis, and soccer.  She's silly and funny.  She's stubborn.  She's my girl.  I lover her so.

So, to the 2 people who read my blog, good night, I've missed blogging with you.  I'll post again soon.  :)

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