Argo...

Argo.
Great story.
Scary.
I don't know why they decide to unclassify stuff though.
Maybe those secrets should never come out. 
I haven't seen zero dark thirty yet, but I really don't think they should have made a movie about that yet.
It could endanger us all. 
Argo was almost too scary for me.  I couldn't breathe in parts.  I wonder if it was really that close.  Crazy scary.
Happy ending though.  And, who doesn't love a true story with a happy ending?

I have a confession... Today I turn 42.... Ouch....

So many things running my mind.  42.  What to say about that?  It feels like a slap in the face of reality.  I didn't feel that way at 40 or 41, but 42 most certainly feels that way.  I don't know why. It just does. 

So, what's going on...  tough stuff indeed.  Trouble at work.  Who thought at 42 I'd have trouble at work?  Not I.  I thought I would be settled into my job, self assured, and confident in my position.  Not so much.  I work hard, just as hard, or harder than I always have.  I love the kids.  I love my subject area.  I don't know.  I'm at a loss.  I don't know what to do.  So, I'll keep working hard, and harder, and harder, and stressing about it, and praying about it.  That's all I can do.  I certainly did not think I would have these feelings at 42.  42.  42.  An echo in my mind.  :)  Wish I could make this person like me, even love me, why not.  But I can't.  Just keep praying.

I thought I'd probably be married by now.  Ha. Ha.  But I'm not.  And, I'm happy most of the time.  But I'm not married.  And sometimes I think about those boys I dated in college, and some of whom, I blew off.  I'm sorry I blew them off.  But I can't go back.  There's nothing to be done about that.  Just keep praying.

I survived breast cancer.  It left scars, but I survived.  Prayers answered, or luck.  I don't know.  I keep praying.

I know there are people much better off than I am.  I know there are people who are much worse off than I am.  There's not much I can do about that, although, I'd like to.  I keep praying.

My girls, perfection.  I'm so thankful.  So thankful for them, their little lives, and minds, and sweetness.  Love.  Love.  Love.  I am truly blessed to be their Mommy.  Prayers answered.  For sure.  Prayers answered.  I just keep praying.

I love my friends, and my family, babies, pizza, and puppies.  Doesn't everybody ?

I have two masters degrees, and that's not bragging.  It just is what it is, but the state continues to expect more.  I think teachers get more continuing education, and inservices than doctors now, and it's still not enough.  People, the state, the government still want more, and for less, less and less all the time.  My pay has only gone down in the last five years, yet I'm luck y to have a job.  And, I know that, and I feel blessed to have a job.   But teachers need to feed their family too.  Right?  I keep praying.

I'll keep praying. 

I don't always say what I want to, because I want people to like me.  Maybe I'll start saying what I think.  LOL.  Maybe not.

I'll keep praying.

Only time will tell what this all means.  I certainly don't know.  I know I'll keep working hard to do my best at everything, always.  And, I know, for certain, I'll keep praying.

Huge Crazy Growth Spurt...

HI Blogger Friends.  :)
Growth Spurt...  Well, S. has grown nearly 6 inches, and we are almost to one year together, (on Feb. 7).  Yep, 6 inches. It's hard for me, because I missed so much of her life as it is, so for her to grow so fast, it just sort of sinks in more, and makes me sad all over again, about missing her baby, toddler, pre-school years.  It really makes me sad sometimes.  And, I thought I had gotten over that grief of missing her baby years, but I don't know if I have.  I just wish she could have come home as a baby, and it's grief for me, unfortunately.  But, it seems like the longer she has been home, the grief is getting less, and less.  Eventually, hopefully, I'll be able to let go of what I missed.  I pray that I will.

Food fight...

Food fight....
Hmmm.  Everyone is going to handle it differently.  It is so personal how we handle things.  However, I do have a little advice for anyone who wants it.  And my advice is...

"Don't do it."

Don't have the food fight.  Kids naturally know how much they "need".  Kids will naturally stop when they are full, if you will let them.

When children first get home from the orphanage, they are hungry.  In more than one way, right?  And, they can't get enough food, or attention.  Let them eat.  Don't fight it.  It will even out.  If you fight with them about it, it will never even out.  They will fight back for ever, and always want more. 

But once they really feel they can have as much as they want, whenever they want to, they won't be so worried about it, and it will even out.

When S. came home, she was an itty bitty 5 and 1/2 year old.  She was malnurished, and weak.  I told her with the computer translater that we would always have food, and that she could eat whenever she wanted to.  I showed her all our food in the kitchen.

The reason I did this is, because I talked to a 15 year old adoptee, who had come home around 5 or 6.  I asked her what her favorite memory from when she first came home was.  This young lady told me that when her mother showed her all the food, and told her there would always be food.   She said she was so relieved.  I took that advice, and did the same for my daughter.

At first S. didn't want to eat.  I made her try everything, at least one bite.  She went through a spitting phase, where she would spit her food on the floor, sort of like a baby or toddler.  I still made her try one bite of everything.

Then, she went through the can't get enough phase.  She once ate 5 tacos.  This itty bitty 5 and 1/2 year old, ate 5 tacos.  :)  No kidding.  It scared me a little.  :)  Hee.  Hee.

Now, at almost a year home, (we are at 11 months home), she is evening out.  She instinctively eats what she needs.  She is not obsessed.  She doesn't over eat. 

I didn't fight it.  I just let her go.  I let her eat what she wanted or felt she "needed", and she came through it.  She's starting to feel secure.  I am very blessed.  I love her so. 

Just in general, another word of advice for parents who want it, the "clean plate club" is for the birds.  No one should make their kids clean their plates, in my opinion.  Back in the day, the '70's, almost every parent made their kids clean their plate.  It's no good.  It just makes you into an adult, who feels this underlying need to clean their plate, instead of listening to your instincts.  I believe "clean plate club" equals over weight adults.  I really do.  But again, it's all very personal how we handle these things.

Parenting sure isn't easy.  And we all love our kids, and try so hard for them.  Love is the most important thing, for sure.  That's all for now.  Good luck.  :)



 

First Christmas...

S.'s First Christmas Crafts...

First town tree lighting, and ready for church...