Jump in with two feet...

Remember your mom raising you? She probably had confidence, and know how that seemed to come from so deep inside her no one would dare doubt her. You are mom now. You have the answers to their hearts, and minds, and souls. You fix boo boos, and kill spiders, and chase away monsters in the night. You know your child better than anyone just like any other mother. It's all inside you. Just like when a couple brings a baby home from the hospital. The couple is thinking, "they are letting us leave, with this little guy, no instructions, we just get to go?" Looking over their shoulders hesitantly, waiting for the nurse to run out with the rule book, they put their new born in the car seat, and head for home. Then, what do they do, they jump right in, two feet. This is our kid, our time, and we know our baby, and her needs better than anyone else in the whole world. They never look back to that moment of walking out of the hospital, they deal with the here and now all of it, one foot in front of the other. She's mom, he's dad, the end. And so it is with adoption. This little guy, or gal has been waiting for you. For your love, your guidance, your hugs, your kisses, your gifts, your mistakes, your assets, and your motherly love, advice, essence. Jump in. You are their fearless leader. Don't act like this little person is a visitor, or an exchange student, or a distant neice. This is your child, you are mom, so make them behave, hug them, feed them, cuddle them, gaze at them lovingly. Be all things mom, just like your mom,only maybe even better. I don't know if that makes sense, but I just decided early on that it wasn't fair to E., or S., if I gave S. a "grace" period, of "special" rules, and "special" treatment, only to have her wake up a year from now, and be held accountable for all the rules. So, I jumped right in. I hugged her, kissed her cheeks, rocked her, read to her, picked her up. I put her in time out when needed, lectured her when needed, and taught her things she needed to know. It's worked for me. And I know, it's not always that easy, but... That's why we have God, and our moms, and our grandmas to ask for advice, and our friends to vent to, books to read, and if needed counselors to go to. But the most important thing, I think, is not treating the newly adopted child somehow like an outsider, but instantly knowing, and letting them know, they are family. They are in a family, part of a family, and they belong, just like every other child in the house.