First Christmas...

S.'s First Christmas Crafts...

First town tree lighting, and ready for church...

Happy Birthday E. !!!

I can't believe my baby is 9, but I am so so so proud of her.  I love her so much.

First time decorating a Christmas tree...

Thanksgivng, and Santa...

Thanksgiving went really well.  S. ate everything, and loved it all.  She eats mustard on everything.  Thanksgiving was no different.  She doesn't like sweets, so no pie for her, but lots, and lots of turkey.

That's E. behind S. in the striped shirt.  :)

And then Santa...

So there you go, first thanksgiving, and first Santa visit, both successes.  :)  Great start to the holiday season.  :) 

I am so thankful....

I am so thankful for my girls, so thankful.  I am thankful for my entire family.  I can't wait for tomorrow, - S.'s first thanksgiving. 

May God bless us, everyone.  :)  I know I stole that line from Tiny Tim, but I do mean it.  :)

Happy Thanksgiving Friends.  :)

First Halloween...

She rocked it!!!

Pumpkin Carving......

First trip to a pumpkin patch...

(First, before the pumpkin patch, the girls had two soccer games. They lost one, and then won one.) Then we went to the pumpkin patch. We took a wagon ride. We picked pumpkins. We won at the corn maze. We ate pumpkin donuts, and apple cider. And, we played in the big red barn. When we got back, my mom made Halloween sugar cookies with the girls. Then we ate sloppy joes.

Pure Joy.... And for some reason....

Pure Joy... * Every night when I put S. to bed, I kiss her cheeks, and hug her tight. She giggles, and says, "nother hug, mom," and giggles harder. I give her another hug, and more kisses on the cheeks, she coninues to giggle, "nother hug, mom." I give her another hug, and more kisses, while she laughs, her contagious child bubbly giggle. I say, "one more time." I hug her and kiss her again, all the while she is laughing. It's pure joy. * She says, "fisk," for fix. As in, "mom, can you fisk this." * She says, "rupted," for interrupted. As in, "mom, E. rupted me again." * Priceless. :) * And, for some reason, my blog will no longer let me seperate paragraphs. I try to seperate them, and indent them, then I push publish, and it all squishes together. Any suggestions on how to "fisk" that? :) :) :) * It's been a long week of teaching. Meetings everyday. Correcting non-stop. Politics from the politicians, and just about everyone else to boot. Stress. :) * Good thing for my girls. They light up my life. I love them so.

Standardized Tests

I don't like standardized tests. I don't think many people do. I really don't think they tell us much. Although, instead of moving away from them, the state, and federal government keep adding more, and more testing. They are making a self fullfilled prophecy that public schools aren't good. We have to give so many standardized tests, when are we supposed to teach. Also, tests mostly tell us whether a person is a good test taker or not, and not much else. The kids know that they are using standardized tests to evaluate teachers. A kid said to me last week, "If I do bad on this test, it just means you are a bad teacher right?" I said, "no, it can mean a lot of things. It can mean you didn't do your best, and a lot of other stuff." Then the kid just sat there, and no amount of prompting could get him to do anything. Later in the day, same kid, in study hall, I gave him his make up work, that he had zeros for, and he said to me, "are you kidding me right now?" Kids these days. :)

S. says to me, "mom, E. keeps rupting me." :) :) :)

Another thing she says, "mom please fisk it." instead of fix it.

I discovered today that the show Jessy on the Disney channel had a show about "Gotcha Days." I thought it was pretty cute. They could do even more on adoption, I think. But very cute. One of the boys was adopting from India as an older child. It just shows another way of becoming a family. It is a nice reflection of our family. I think it makes my girls feel normal. There should be shows about every kind of family on t.v. these days. There certainly are enough channels. :) It's so good for kids to see a reflection of their family. It's normalizing. It's validating. :)

I think churches focus too much on money these days. I love going to church with my girls, and meditating, and praying, and feeling closer to God. I love seeing all my church friends, going to communion, sitting quietly. All of that. I do not like being asked for money non stop. I think people give what they can. I think it makes poor people feel bad, or left out, or less than, that churches ask for money all the time.

I love the show Long Island Medium. I love Teresa. She is such a great character. She's so vivacious, and hilarious. I think, sometimes, I could be a medium. I'm not sure. I'm not sure entirely what I want to be when I grow up. A writer, a photographer, a counselor, .... So many things, so little time, when you are already a mom, and a teacher.

Jump in with two feet...

Remember your mom raising you? She probably had confidence, and know how that seemed to come from so deep inside her no one would dare doubt her. You are mom now. You have the answers to their hearts, and minds, and souls. You fix boo boos, and kill spiders, and chase away monsters in the night. You know your child better than anyone just like any other mother. It's all inside you. Just like when a couple brings a baby home from the hospital. The couple is thinking, "they are letting us leave, with this little guy, no instructions, we just get to go?" Looking over their shoulders hesitantly, waiting for the nurse to run out with the rule book, they put their new born in the car seat, and head for home. Then, what do they do, they jump right in, two feet. This is our kid, our time, and we know our baby, and her needs better than anyone else in the whole world. They never look back to that moment of walking out of the hospital, they deal with the here and now all of it, one foot in front of the other. She's mom, he's dad, the end. And so it is with adoption. This little guy, or gal has been waiting for you. For your love, your guidance, your hugs, your kisses, your gifts, your mistakes, your assets, and your motherly love, advice, essence. Jump in. You are their fearless leader. Don't act like this little person is a visitor, or an exchange student, or a distant neice. This is your child, you are mom, so make them behave, hug them, feed them, cuddle them, gaze at them lovingly. Be all things mom, just like your mom,only maybe even better. I don't know if that makes sense, but I just decided early on that it wasn't fair to E., or S., if I gave S. a "grace" period, of "special" rules, and "special" treatment, only to have her wake up a year from now, and be held accountable for all the rules. So, I jumped right in. I hugged her, kissed her cheeks, rocked her, read to her, picked her up. I put her in time out when needed, lectured her when needed, and taught her things she needed to know. It's worked for me. And I know, it's not always that easy, but... That's why we have God, and our moms, and our grandmas to ask for advice, and our friends to vent to, books to read, and if needed counselors to go to. But the most important thing, I think, is not treating the newly adopted child somehow like an outsider, but instantly knowing, and letting them know, they are family. They are in a family, part of a family, and they belong, just like every other child in the house.

Bonding...

I think bonding is almost the same as bonding with a baby, no matter how old your child is. Co-sleeping is a really great way to bond, if you can handle little feet in your face, and an occasional elbow to the stomach. I can't, unfortunately, co-sleeping drives me crazy. However, I love rocking my girls. I read to them, and rock them every night. It is definitely time well spent. When a baby comes home from the hospital, the mother nurses, and rocks the baby, only the mother. So, when your child first comes home, it is the parents that should meet all their needs. If they want something to eat or drink, it is one of the parents who should full fill that need. The same with boo boos, or fears, the parent should sooth those worries. And cuddle time, is so important. Whether it's on the couch while watching t.v., or in a big over stuffed chair while reading, or co-sleeping. Cuddle time is so important to bonding. When it's a new baby, it's just natural to hold them, and stare at them, and admire their perfect cuteness, well, the same should be true for your newly adopted child. You need it, as much as they do. Also, it's not going to hurt them, to let them regress a little. If they need their bottle, or their diapers longer than expected, don't freak out, they've been through a lot. I'm sure they won't go to kindergarten with a bottle, and diapers. Just let them have the comfort of being a baby a little longer if they need it. It won't hurt them, and it will probably help them, and you. I guess that's all I've got for now. ;) Take care. :)

Parent Teacher Conferences for my girls...

My girls rocked it. E. is in 3rd grade, and reading at a 6th grade level. Plus, super smart in math, and every other subject. S. is in Kindergarten, and reading at the level she is supposed to be at by winter. So, she's a little ahead too, in all subjects. I'm so proud.

Packing For Travel...

When traveling to pick up your child, talk to people with children the same age as your child you are picking up. Ask them what they would bring for their child of that same age on a trip around the world. :) * you will need age appropriate toys. * clothes. * child friendly, age appropriate snacks. * blankies. * shoes. * diapers. * pull ups. * wipes. * crayons. * color books. * fruit leather. * granola. * lice treatment. * bottles. * sippy cups. * baby food. * paperwork. * stroller. * baby carry front pack. * back packs for carry ons,so your hands are free to take care of your child. * baggies for snacks, and possibly dirty diapers, if needed. * Infant / child thermometer. * Infant / child tylenol. * Infant / child cough syrup. * diaper rash ointment. * powder. * sunscreen. * deep woods off, keep away misquitoes. * pictures of close family, and friends to show your child. * hair bows, and jewelry for little girls. * brushes, combs. * nail clippers. * tie a colorful ribbon to the handle of your luggage, so you can spot it. * stuffed animals. * mini computer or tablet, makes communication easy. * cameras, video camera, regular camera. * take tons of pictures, you probably won't be back for a long time. * buy stuff from your child's country to put around your house. Enjoy your trip. It's a magical time. Any questions. Just ask.

Gandhi's birthday....

* It's Gandhi's birthday today. I've always been a big fan of Gandhi. I mean, who isn't, right? :) * Being that he is a national hero in India, and it is a national holiday in India, today we celebrate it. :) With cake, of course. :) Gandhi is on all of the money in India. Well, he's everywhere. Everyone loves Gandhi in India, well, and around the world. * In class today, I talked about how Gandhi invented peaceful non-violent protest. And, how he used it to help South Africa get equality. And, then he used peaceful protest to help his own people back in India get rid of British rule. Martin Luther King Jr studied Gandhi, and used his non-violent protest methods in the civil rights movement. * Gandhi was a wise peaceful man. He was shot in his backyard one evening, when he went out to his garden to pray. * I showed the students pictures of him, and I showed students many of his quotes. His most famous being, "be the change you wish to see in the world." I love that quote. He is so wise. * After I told my students that, I asked them to journal a half of a page. I told them they can write a reflection about Gandhi in anyway they wanted to. Then I gave them some ideas. They could respond to, "what did you think," "what did you feel," "what did you notice," "what did you connect with," "what did you realize," or interpret the quote. They could answer any one of these questions, all of them, or any combination of them that they wanted. Or they could write in their own way about Gandhi. * 1st hour, one student, "why are we learning about Gandhi?" * Me, "I told you at the beginning remember? It's because we are studying memoir, and it is Gandhi's birthday. And, I just thought it would be someone interesting to talk, and write about for the memoir unit." * Same student, "I don't get it, I don't know anything about him." * Me, "remember, we just talked about it. He invented peaceful non-violent protest to help South Africa, and India. Martin Luther King Jr used his methods in the civil rights movement." * Same student, "I don't get why we are talking about him. Why is he important?" * Me, "He created peaceful non-violent protest." * Same student, "I still don't get it. Why are we talking about Gandhi again?" * Me, "it's his birthday, and we are in the memoir unit." * Same student, "what? I still don't get it." * Me, "well, why don't you write down all the questions you have in your journal?" * Student, "I hate this class. This is so stupid." * Ahhhhhh. That was just one student though, well, it might have been 2 or 3 different kids by the end of the day, that said similar things. But, the majority of the kids said some really cool stuff in their journal. Oh man, kids, gotta love em. :) And I do. :) * Then with the family, we had dinner, and cake. Gandhi cake. Gotta love it. :)

Somebody, .... had their very first birthday party ever...

It was a great day. Friends, pizza, cake, swimming. S. was so excited. She was happy about everything.

Finalized....

S.'s adoption is finalized. Praise God. Closure to a very long arduous process. I am so happy. So happy. My sweet girls. I am sooo grateful. :)

6 Months Home...

It's been 6 months since a tiny 5 and 1/2 year old walked around the corner to meet me, her new mother, for the first time. I hugged her, and put her on my lap, and kissed her, and told her I loved her. We blew bubbles, and ate suckers, and laughed. It was magic...

8 year Gotcha Day....

OH, I love these girls. E.'s 8 year Gotcha day today. I can't believe it's 8 years, since I first held my baby girl. It was a magical moment. I am so greatful to be her Momma. And, I am so proud of this girl. She is magic.

What if ? ... or ... My long lost sister / friend...

What if, your sister, (or your best friend), was, for whatever reason, no longer able to take care of her child? Heaven forbid, but say she died, or no longer had the money, the will, the power, or whatever raising a child takes. Would you take your niece or nephew in? Would you love your niece like there was no difference between her and any other child in your house? Would you tell her how wonderful her first mother was (or is) ? How her first mother loved her more than anything in the world ? How her first mother wishes she could be here caring for her ? Would you tell her it's okay to love her first Mommy, and you ? And that you love her first Mommy too ? What if you had a sister you never knew about, across an ocean, and she could no longer care for her child ? And, say, she found you, and sought you out, because she wanted to leave her beloved with you ? Older child adoption is complicated, and it's simple. It's complicated because the child has a history that you do not know, and you are afraid you may never understand. It's simple, because somewhere there is a child that needs you, and a first mother who is praying for you to come along. So, yes, it's complicated. And yes, it's simple. It's simply love. (This sounded a lot better in my head. :) But as I was thinking about all of the emotions, and bumps, and ups, and downs, of older child adoption the other night, I was thinking, of this scenario. And, I was thinking, of course, of course, I would love my sister's child as my own. And, then I was thinking of Sonjena's first mom as my sister, and saying to the universe, and God, "of course, of course, I love her as my own," because she is my own. It's that simple. And, as I stated above it's also complicated. But any journey worth taking is.)

S.'s first 4th of July...

Happy 4th Everyone!!! :) S. will be home for 5 months on July 7th. Things are going well. :) The more English she has, the better things go. ;)

When I grow up....

E. said, "What will I look when I grow up?" Mom said, "I think you are going to look like your first mom." E. said, "Can I see the picture of her again?" Mom said, "Of course, honey." E. said, "She's beautiful." Mom said, "yes, she is." S. said, "do you have a picture of my first mom?" Mom said, "no honey, I don't. Sorry. Do you remember what she looked like?" S. said, "yes." Mom said, "Maybe you could draw a picture sometime. Do you look like your first mom?" S. said, "yes." Mom said, "then look in the mirror honey." We all laugh. S. said, "Emily let me see your mom again." E. said, "okay, look," and she held up a picture of me. We all laugh again. E. said, "can we go to Guatemala one day, and look for my first mom." Mom said, "sure, what will you say to her?" E. said, "Hola." ;) Precious moments with my girls. Thank you to the two beautiful women, who gave me my two beautiful daughters. I will love you forever, and hold you in my heart, and see you in their faces.

Baptism, and dogs say....

S. was baptised today. What a great day. It was so nice.

I am so blessed to be the mother of these two beautiful amazing girls. We went for a ride up to a friends cottage this weekend. It was fun. On the way back, we saw cows, and horses. We were asking my nephew, who is 2, what does a cow say? What does a horse say? Etc. We said, "what does a dog say?" S. said, "puff, puff, puff." LOL. Okay, something to work on over the summer, animal noises. S. learns more and more everyday. Her vocabulary, and understanding is amazing. Everyday it's something new.

First time at the beach...

S. is so excited no matter where we go. She is very loud, most of the time, unless you want her to be loud, then she is all of the sudden, oh so shy, and quiet. Ha. Ha. Ha. But today at the beach, she was loud, and so happy to be there. She was a little scared, and wanted me close by, but got over that quickly. She is so completely adorable. I'm so proud of her.

Financial Crunch...

I need prayers. Lots, and lots of prayers. I need peace, and comfort. The adoption loans are really weighing on me heavily, as I live from pay check to pay check, and struggle to make ends meet. It doesn't feel good, and it doesn't feel comfortable. Yet, the struggle is all worth it, way beyond worth it, of course. But I do need prayers. I do need hope. I do need prayers.

Three Months Home

We've been home for three months. It's really starting to feel more "normal" each day. S. is getting more, and more English everyday, and this is helping with everything. I've asked her several times if she wants to keep her Hindi, and she says no every time. I've asked her if she wants a Hindi teacher, she says no. Anyway, I've asked her several different ways, the answer is always the same. It's kind of good since I don't have the money for a Hindi tutor anyway. LOL. Paying back all of those adoption loans is a tall order. It's financially stressful. It's more than well worth it, of course, but it is still financially stressful. My girls. Let's see. E. was having a hard time, a lot of tears. I took her on a big girl date. She wanted ice cream, and to walk around the mall. It was so fun, and so weird for it to be just her and I. It used to be our life, and now it's a special thing, strange. She has been less teary this week, after the alone time with Mom. I don't know how she'll feel when it is S.'s turn, but we shall see. S. seems to be giving more real hugs, and has more comfort. I can tell she really relaxes on my lap, and rests easy in my arms now. It's wonderful. Oh, we still have a long way to go, but we are getting there, and the journey is to be treasured.

The Moment That Was....

I went to pick up the pizza for my mom's house last night. First adorable thing, S. wanted to come with me. Second adorable thing, the conversation. "Me India, me no bye-bye. Me America, me lot lot bye-bye. Me India, me no toys, no play. Me America, me lot toys, me lot play. Me India, me no side (outside). Me America, me lot side. Me India, me hot, me not happy. Me America, me happy."

Clean Feet

The last couple of days Sonjena has been telling me what she was like when she first came home. Today, we had taco's for dinner, and S. told me, "me first, me no like, me now, me likey." :) So cute. Then in her bath tonight, she said, "India, me feet, black, me no wash. In America, me wash, wash, wash, me clean. Me likey clean. Mommy, me hotel India, Mommy wash, wash, wash me feet, me clean. Me likey." Is that adorable, or what! :)

Hi Ho... Hi Ho..... It's off to work I go...

Well, it's back to work for me tomorrow. I am so thankful that I had nine weeks off. It was much needed. S. definitely is much more bonded to me than she would have been had I not had the time off.
S. is doing very well. She adds words and phrases to her reputoire everyday. This weekend it was, "What are you doing E.?" So stinkin cute.
Another favorite phrase, "come on E." Only she says something like, "Cume Owna E." She's very emphatic about it, it's very cute funny.
She asks for hugs, and kisses all the time from me, and from E. It's adorable. I rock her to sleep at night, and I charish that bonding time.
I'm worried about going back to work. I don't know if I can handle it all, but I will. I'm just nervous right now.
I wish there was more time in a day. I already feel like there are not enough hours.
I have financial struggles right now. It's worrisome. I had to take out mostly adoption loans to pay for the adoption. Now I have to pay for the finalization in the U.S., and post placement reports at $300 a pop, plus all the usual bills. Plus supporting two little girls. It's rough, but way more than well worth it. But if you have a little prayer for me, I sure could use one. Thank you for your prayers. Take care.

Growing Pains With Older Adoption / or / The Moment That Wasn't...

S. was crying, and crying, and whining, and whining for a watch.
I went on Google Translate to tell her about being thankful and grateful for what we already have. I talked about being happy, and thankful to God for everything. I talked about having patients, and getting stuff in the future if you are good. I talked about birthdays, and Christmases, and taking care of your toys. S. shutt down, and started ignoring me. I put her in time out. When she got out of time out, she still wouldn't talk to me, and was still ignoring me. I put her in time out again. When she got out, I talked to her again about all that she has, and about being thankful. I hugged her, and told her I love her (I had been throughout the process as well). Then she started crying. I thought we were having a break through, that she was sad, and sorry for how she acted. I was hugging her, and kissing her. She sat up, and through a tear stained face she pointed to her wrist. LOL. Okay, "nap time." LOL.

Easter ...

Easter Princesses.

Easter Egg Hunt.


Some things are getting easier. S. is speaking better English everyday. This is making life easier in many ways.

Today before her nap she asked me for a hug. I was so delighted. I always hug her, but today she asked for one. :)

Everyone is still adjusting, but I do see improvements in everyone. It's amazing.

First Half Day of School

S. started school. She loves it, but she is exhausted. She is only in for half days. She went around saying, "me school! Me school! Me school!" for days before hand. It was so cute. When she got home from her first half day, she said, "me tired. Me nap time." And she went to her bed, and went to sleep. So cute.

On our way out to school.

Good days, and bad days....

S. is doing well. I think as well as she can do. But she has good days, and bad days. Some days she acts like she has always been with us, and like she just blends perfectly. Then other days, she really lets me know that she just got here almost 2 months ago, and it's not that easy. Today, she was drinking water in the back seat, and spitting it out as she was drinking it. I have no idea why. She did the same with her dinner, at home. She kept taking bites, and spitting them out. Then at one point, she kicked her sister in the face. So, not a great day today. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. I can't wait until she is more fluent in English, so I know she understands what I am saying to her. She's very stubborn, and she shuts down when she gets in any sort of trouble.

Last week, spring break, she did really well. Of course, we were doing one fun thing after another, so if I could just keep that up, no worries. :) LOL. :)

I'll include a couple of pictures from spring break, because I know pictures are my favorite part of blogs. :) Take care everyone. :)

S. just jumped right in the pool at the hotel. Good thing I had put a life jacket on her. She was still scared after she did it, she cried a little. But, not long after that, she was just having fun.

Regression...

I've been sick for around 11 days now, working with a doctor. I feel better, but I'm not 100% yet, soon though, soon.
Meanwhile, S. has regressed.
Just before I got sick she really started to speak English well, and even express complex ideas. She was starting to tell me about the orphanage.
Now, she's decided to talk in gibberish.
The other day she pointed at the napkins, and said, "lolololalala allalalalalalblablablabla..." Something like that. I said, "S. use your words." She said, "Mommy, napkin, please." LOL. It's a laugh or cry situation.
When I get better, I hope she picks right back up where she was at. :)

We are still here,,,

HI blogger friends.
We are still here! Still plugging away!!!
Adjustment is slow.
I know S. knows I'm her mommy, and has since day 1, but I think trust is slow coming.
She's been abandon, and now this big change. I can't blame her for not trusting it right away.
I continue to re assure her that I love her, and will love her forever, no matter what. I look forward to the day she hears, and believes these words.
Peace to my friends.

Some New Pics

This is an outfit she picked out in India, now she doesn't like it very much, and she was pouting for over an hour because I had her try it on.

Sisters

Toddler behavior...

I feel like she acts about 3, emotionally. I know it's because she has been neglected. I worry about her being behind in school etc. She's smart, but it's the emotional part I worry about. She's attached to me, so that's good, but it's slow going. I love her tons.

Baby steps....

After a difficult day, tonight there were some treasured moments. At one point both girls were on my lap, and E was tickling S, and we were all laughing big belly laughs. Then S hugged me all on her own, it was a tight squeeze. She usually just leans in. Two great moments shining through the fog of adjustment.

It's harder than I thought...

I love my new daughter dearly. But it's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I missed 5 and 1/2 years of her life. It's just not natural. I wish she was younger, and home, but I know that couldn't be, so I have to make peace with it any way I can.

I love this Chinese proverb...

An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break. -- Ancient Chinese Proverb

Language Explosion ...

A language explosion today. It sounded sort of like a toddler. "Mommy car!" "Mommy bus!" "Mommy airplane." "Mommy snow." "Mommy please." "Mommy help." "Mommy me." LOL. Now where's the off button. Just kidding. :)

When she was sick last night, she very much needed me for the first time, and I think that has put us in a different place. We shall see if it lasts. At least it is possible.

S. is still being very stand off ish to E. E. tries so hard to be a good big sister, and help her, and care for. And S. just gives her the stare down still. Ugh. Time will heal. God willing. All we need is time.

Deeply troubled,,,

Little Miss. S was sick tonight. Sick to her stomach. I rubbed her back, and cleaned up after her. I gave her sprite, and crackers, and rocked her back to sleep, and tucked her into bed.

There are 160 million orphans in this world. Who is wiping their tears? Who is tucking them into bed at night?

I am deeply troubled by the orphan crisis. What can we do?

Today...

Part of the problem is she is trying her hardest not to sleep. But tonight, finally, she fell asleep, and stayed asleep. Yeah.
Today I heard a couple of sentences. One was, "Mommy, banana, please." Another was, "I love you." Another was, "Hi, gilly," to our fish. Ahhhh, progress. :)

Adopting a 5 and 1/2 year old, it's not for wimps, and sissys I tell ya.... :) ...

S. has night terrors. She screams out. It's a little disturbing.
She is also being very stubborn about learning English, and talking in general.
She makes me work for it ladies. But when I finally get a hug, or a smile, it's like gold.
Today she got 5 shots, and some blood drawn. She is holding a grudge. Even a $ 5 stuffed animal from Kohl's Cares For Kids didn't put me back in good graces.
I'm wondering how she will do at the dentist.

Facial Expressions

E. said to me today, "Mom, some of the facial expression from India look like frowns, and angry faces." I said, "Honey, I think she is actually frowning at us, and giving us angry faces sometimes."
E. said, "oh." And we both laughed.

Odds, and Ends...

Let's see...
S. is completely obsessed with silverware. She had never seen it before. When I was at the orphanage, she ate lunch. They had a yellow pile of mush, a white pile of mush, a grey pile of mush, and a piece of round break to eat it with.

In India they eat lunch around 2, and dinner around 8. Everything is just a little later there.

Madhu told me when I was out to lunch with her that she prefers to write in English. She told me that she knows how to write in Hindi, but it is very difficult. Madhu also told me that her two boys do not write in Hindi at all, they only write in English.

At lunch, Madhu also stated that the taxi drivers in India are very naughty. She said they often misbehave, and they are not good drivers. I asked her if she thought that even about the prepaid taxies, and she said, yes.

When I went out to lunch with V.J. I asked her if they were missing S back at the orphanage. She said yes they were, but they don't have much time to miss her, because they already got more kids. She said that 4 new kids had arrived in the one day since S left.

I carried 10 large bottles of body spray over there, in my suit case, for the Aunties at the orphanage. V.J. looked through the bag. I said they are for the Aunties. V.J., said, this will do. I said there are 10. She said it will do. I thought that was a disappointing reaction. Oh, well.

There are all different colors and sizes of turbans all over India. I wonder what the different colors, and sizes mean. Some of the people in India dress in very traditional dress, and others dress very American, and modern. It's interesting.

There is no heat inside the homes in New Delhi, because it is so hot there. However, in the winter, when it is 75 degrees, they use space heaters.

All the men at the hotel loved me. They were all flirting with me. I know they just wanted a visa, but it was very flattering.

On the airplanes... Airplane bathrooms are so small, and so gross. Come on people, you can do better than that. :)

When they are doing the announcement on the airplane, and they say, "Welcome, and we would especially like to welcome our sky miles customers, and vip members." I think that is so annoying.

The meals and the vocabulary change on airplanes as you travel around the world. When we were closer to India, they served Indian food. When we were closer to Europe, we ate European food. When we were near Europe they came around for rubbage. When we were near America, they came around for garbage. I thought that was sort of interesting.

What's up with the Dutch language anyway? I am sorry but there is not an "sch", or a "u", a "v", or a "z" in every word. When we had Dutch stewardists, I just knew I was going to get spit on, when they were talking to me. :)

This is a little girl begging outside my car window. I had already given her some money, she was telling me she needed more. It was very sad.

This is the Lotus Temple, and gardens for the Bahai religion.

A market for buying Indian products.

She loved this statue.
I guess that's it for now. More later.

The Carpet Children...

All the children in the orphanage sit or squat on this large oriental rug all day. They barely did anything except sit there all day together. Then they would eat, and go back to sitting on the carpet all day. They didn't have any toys, just their own minds to amuse them. Then there was one baby who had to stand in a basket most of the time. The lady their told me she was a very naughty baby, and so she had to stand in the basket.

Also, they told me they went to the park a couple times a year on special occasions.

In the winter, when it is 75 degrees, they wear winter hats, and warm coats, and are all freezing. And, they don't take the children outside in the winter, because it is too cold.

A nightmare...

I was having a nightmare. It was awful. There was garbage everywhere. In some places it was piled up, and in other places scattered around like forgotten promises. The sidewalks were filled with thousands upon thousands of starving people with no place to go. And the streets were full with begging children. There were crippled and diseased people everywhere, with no one to help them, and no resources available. There were dogs with disease, and starving everywhere I looked. While I was dreaming, I kept thinking, "this isn't right, this can't be right." Finally after a couple of hourse of this, I woke up. Much to my relief, and delight I was in America.

Let's see what else....

I probably already wrote this but India is a day ahead of us. So, when you go there you lose a day, but when you come back, you gain a day. It's like back to the future or something. It's very strange.

I'm so glad to be home. I hope I stay this thankful forever. I should. There is no doubt about that.

Luckiest Mom ever.

Let's see. On my way to airport the early morning of Thursday Indian time, I was excited to be going home with my new little girl in tow.

When we arrived at the airport, Surrender got our bags out, and he told me that he is very happy for us. We said our good byes. He is a very good driver, and a good man.

At the door into the airport there are military guards. The one at the door I went through was huge, maybe 6'4''. He had on a turban, and a muted green uniform. He began to yell at me in Hindi immediately. About the only word in English was "Papers! Papers!" I got out our papers, and our electronic ticket. He continued to yell at me, and the riffle over his shoulder was swaying back and forth as he shouted, and flapped his arms. He said, "no! No! No!" "Name?" and he pointed at the electronic ticket. I pointed to my name, and to Sonjena's. He kept yelling, and shuffling through my electronic tickets. I just wanted in the doors so badly. He kept shaking his head no, and looking at me like I was committing some crime. I pointed to our names again, one at a time, and then to our names in our passports one at a time. He continued to shake his head. I lined the passports up with the e-ticket. After about 10 minutes of convincing him, he let us in. It felt like an hour.

Then we were in line at the ticket counter with all our bags, and an Indian lady siddles up along side me. I was so done with all of it at that point, I just kept thinking, keep siddling lady, you're not cutting in front of me TODAY, maybe some other day, but not today. Indian women maybe pushy, but so are American women, so look out. :)
Just kidding. The line attendant told her to get in line, but she wouldn't, she was practically right on top of me. Finally, the line attendant took her to another line. Thank goodness. A lot of people in India do not have a sense of personal space. It's obvious why, because of the over population, and how very crowded it is. Personal space is definitely something Sonjena has to learn about. (For example, on the plane once, and awhile she would hang over the arm of her chair into the next person. Or when we were getting off of planes, she was always practically under the feet of the person in front of us. Easy to see why, since she is coming from an orphanage.)

I got to the counter, they checked my documents. Then they wanted my adoption documents, so I took them out. The guy started photographing the adoption documents. I asked him why, and he said he had to have copies of adoption documents, and that is how he did it, with a camera. We checked our bag, and got our tickets. The ticket counter forgot to give me the slip you have to fill out to get through the visa officers. So, I waited in line to show them our paper work. We waited, and waited, and waited, and when we got to the front of the line, they told me I didn't have that paper. I went back to the ticket counter, waited in line, and got the paper. Then I filled it out, and I got back in line. We got up there, and apparently my last name was spelled wrong on Sanjana's passport. I was so afraid he wouldn't let me through, and I would be stuck in India, until it was fixed, but he let me through. Shhhoeww. But I thought, I'll never get through in Amsterdam, but I did, and the U.S.

Then we got to security, and I had to show the first guy our paperwork, then another guy. Then another crabby guy wanted my paperwork, and was yelling at me again. My stuff went through the scanners, and something was wrong. I was like, "what? What? What's going on?" So, they told me to open my bag, and go through it. I was so tired that I had forgotten you can't bring liquids on an airplane. I wasn't going to take my toiletries, because I didn't want my bags to be heavy again. At the last minute, I decided to take them, to save money on buying new ones back home, and because I was so tired, I forgot about the rule, and put them in my carry on. I had shampoo, mouse, hair spray, and contact solution in there. They pointed with their guns, and I said, "I know, I forgot about the rule, I am sorry, they are hair products. I don't care about them, take them." They made me wait, about 10 minutes, and then they told me they were keeping them, I said, "fine. I don't care about them, I just forgot the rule." There were Asian businessmen in line behind me, and they were laughing. I had showed our papers a total of 6 times by then.

Before we got on the plane, I had to show them 6 more times. Yes, that's 12 times, before we could leave the airport. The guy with the machine gun just before boarding the plane, like at the end of the boarding ramp, I was thinking, "holy sh**, are they ever going to stop checking my papers, holy crap." He was also very rude to me. He said, "is this your child?" and pointed to Sonjena. I said, "yes." He said, "are you Indian?" (I was thinking non of your darn business.) I said,"no." He said, "is your husband Indian?" I said, "no. adoption." He gave me a dirty look. Then he gave me my papers back. There was some sort of hold up, and while I was standing there waiting, he was telling the other guard something about me, I turned around, and looked at him, and he said,"get on the plane."
And I was like, "what?" And he said,"the plane is boarding. Get on." Nice guy.

In Amsterdam, they looked at my papers once. In Detroit, they looked at our papers once.

Everything is going well so far...

This is the first full day home. Everyone seems to be doing really well. So far so good.

Cutest 5 and 1/2 year old. :)

A woman, and her adorable baby begging at my car window, one of many.

This is the Lotus Temple, where the Bahai worship.

A monkey. :)

Part of this building is government offices, and the other part is the priminister's house.

Isn't this little boy cute?

This guy only has a riffle. A lot of the men in uniforms over there, have machine guns. I thought I had a better chance if I took a picture of one of the guys with the riffle rather than one with a machine gun.

One of the thousands of shanty houses along the side of the road.

There are many many men around in Delhi on bicycles with really large loads like this one. Although this wasn't the biggest load I saw on a bicycle. One guy I saw was pulling mattresses about 12 feet or more high. It was crazy. I think I already wrote about that.

We are home!!! We are safe!!! God bless America!!!

We are home safe, and sound. Thank you God!!! I'm so happy, and so thankful to be here. Sonjena is doing well, and so is Emily. Sonjena and I are exhausted from traveling 24 hours to get home. But we are safe, and I have so much more to blog in a day or so when I feel up to it. Right now I am so thankful for my daughters, my entire family, my friends, my fellow Americans, America the beautiful. I am so thankful, so thankful. I'm surprised I did not kiss and hug everyone in the U.S. immigration office. I love America. It is the home of the free, and the brave. Much love, peace, happiness, and thankfulness to all my facebook friends. ;)
I just reposted what I on my facebook page right now, but I will be posting more soon. Right now I am exhausted. Peace.

I am leaving tonight...

I am leaving tonight in the middle of the night, I will have to post more from home. Our flight leaves at 1:50 a.m. on Thursday morning in Indian time. Can you imagine??? :)
I won't have wifi on the way home, or time to post either.
The only reason I did on the way here is because that business man invited me to go into the VIP lounge with him. There are free drinks, and food, free wifi. Then he fell asleep in a chair in there. I wanted to walk around in the airport. I did not know if I should wake him up, and tell him, thank you and good bye, or if I should just let him sleep. We were both going to India, I thought, so I could tell him thank you later. So, I went and walked around the Amsterdam airport. Then when I saw him on the flight to Delhi, I said, Hi, and was going to thank him, but he ignored me. I thought that was so weird. Anyway...
I won't be going to the VIP lounge with anyone one on the way back.
I can't wait to get home thursday afternoon, and see E, and the rest of the family. Love to all.

Ahhhh. Nothing says welcome to the family like....

A lice treatment before bed, and one when you wake up. :) Poor baby. :)

Today our driver Surrender came and took us around. He took us to the Lotus Temple. This is a Baiha Temple. I went to see one in Chicago once too. Wennetka, outside of Chicago, I think. It was very beautiful. It was also very peaceful. I made Surrender come in with us. He said, "I park, you go." I said, "No, you come." He said, "Okay." :) We had to take off our shoes. There was a reflection pool outside, and there were school classes touring the place. The school kids were all around the reflection pond, and then the guard came, and smacked them all with a cane on the butt. He did. He ran after them, and smacked them. It was very strange to see. I was gasping, and Surrender was laughing. :)

I took tons of pictures. I had something like 500 pictures from my 3+ days here. They were all really cool. However, little miss Sonjena took a turn taking pictures out the window like Momma, and she accidentally deleted all 500+ pictures. Yeap. It's true. I was upset. It took me a minute to bounce back. Surrender doesn't speak very good English, or understand very well either, so I had to explain it to him, 3 times. I asked him to take me to a photo shop to buy a new memory card, so he did. I know that when I get back to the states someone can retrieve some of those pictures. So, I put that disk away, and starting snapping on the new one. Sonjena and I had a really smooth start. Even with all the lice treatments. She was really leaning on me, and looking to me, and bonding with me. This morning I said, "I love you Sonjena," and she said, "I love you Mommy." I could have cried, but VJ told me not to cry anymore while I am here, after the first night. She said, if I cry the child will not know what to think. :) After the pictures were delete, she did not talk to me for 2 hours, she just looked out the window. I kept talking to her, and talking to her. And she just looked out the window. Then I pulled her over to me, and put my arm around her, and was rubbing her arm, and she started crying. (I never even said anything to her. I just explained to Surrender why I needed a new memory card.) Then guess what it was time for, yeap, lunch with VJ, the director of the orphanage. Can you imagine? So, VJ took over, took Sonjena, had her sit by her, ordered for her, etc. Yeap. It was embarrassing. Then VJ gave me a lecture that children are not allowed to play with cameras, and that I should have taken it from her, she did not know. I told her I knew she didnot mean to, and I was not mad. (When Sonjena was taking pictures, I thought about taking the camera back, but then I thought, she looks really happy, and if the memory card gets full, I'll just delete one or two if I want to take more picures. I was looking out my window, while she was taking pictures out her window. The next time I looked, all the photos were gone. Oh, Owen's 2nd birthday was on there too.) I should have been loading them on to Shutterfly each night, but I didn't even think about it. That was all my fault. So, when you are on vacation or an adoption trip, load your pictures on your computer each night. Anyway, after lunch, Sonjena came around, and liked me again. Now she is taking a nap.

Surrender also took me to Delhi Haat, or it might have been Dilli Haat this morning. It's a market place. I bought a few more things for Sonjena. There was this huge gold statue of a god there, and Sonjena kept rubbing her face, and looking at her, and rubbing her cheeks. It was really cute. I asked a man the significance of this god, and he said, "I don't know about such things ma'am, I am only a slave." That's what he really said to me. It was so strange to hear.

Surrender also drove us by Gandhi's house, parliment, the priminister's house, and the Delhi gate. It was really cool. There were many children out begging today. Many of them came right up to my window, everywhere we went. They see an American, and they just run into the road towards you. At the first stop, I handed a girl, about the age of my girls, 10 rupees, and then a little boy about the same age, 10 rupees. Then tons of people came out into the street outside my window. We were stuck in a The beggers rushing the car was very sad, and scary. A business man in the next car rolled down his window, and told them to leave, but they wouldn't budge until the traffic started moving again. The traffic is always in a jam here. It takes a long time to get anywhere because of all the traffic.

Let's see, what else... Yesterday, when the embassy was closed for lunch, Madhu and I went to lunch. We went to a Chinese restaurant. It was very good. We sat there along time waiting for the Embassy to open, and we got comfortable, and talked. Madhu has two sons. Her sons, and their families live with her. She picked her son's wives. Her oldest son has two kids. They are 10 and 13. And her youngest has one son who is 1. She showed me pictures, they are, to my surprise, chubby, and very very very cute. She said her husband died very young serving in the military. He died on a plane. They were using very very very old war craft carriers, she said. She said they were planes no one else was using anymore. They were purchased from the U.S., because the U.S. did not use them anymore, but they were even older than that. She said many men died on these planes, but she did not think it would happen to her, and then it did. She was very young. Madhu said she was lucky, because her family was well enough off that they could help her, and her boys, plus she had friends who helped.

There are women walking around with red dots on their foreheads, and red paint in the part of their hair. I asked Madhu about this, she said it means they are married. At the end of the marriage ceremony, the husband puts red pant in the woman's part, and then she continues to do that for the rest of her life. Madhu was smiling very proudly when she told me this tradition.

Sonjena loves all the babies at the Children's home. She was so sweet and tender to them when we were there. She hugs them, and plays with them, and helps them. It's really sweet to watch.

On all my documents about Sonjena, it says, "baby Sonjena." They call her baby Sonjena on everything. It's very cute.

The Indian people that I have spent time with are very precious to me. You know that saying, once your eyes are open, they can never be closed again. I think it's true to a certain extent, I do. However, I think it is easy to forget, and easy to lose touch. Just like millionaires, and billionaires have no idea what it is like to be middle class anymore, even if they are friends with many people from the middle class, they just can't know. It is also true about people in wealthy countries like the U.S. not being able to relate to the street people of India. There is just know way we can understand. But now I know they are there in a different way than I knew before. What will I do now? .... ????

An amazing day!!!

Today I went to pick Sonjena up forever. Yes!!! Today is her Gotcha day!!! :) :) :) I brought her one of Emily's old Christmas dresses, because I thought she would think it was a princess dress. It was a good thing that I brought it, because they expected her to wear a dress to the American Embassy. They told me to wear a dress too, but I don't own one anymore, and didn't have the money to run out and buy one. Anyway, I looked as good as I could for the occasion. :) So, I set off for the orphanage at about 8:30 a.m. here. India is a very big place, and very very busy. There are many many cars, many motorcycles, and many people everywhere. So, it took a half an hour to get to the Children's home. (The kids there are sooooo adorable, but I can't post pictures of them.) I was so happy to see Sonjena. She looked adorable in her dress. She looked so proud and happy.

This is her in the dress. She had to wear a sweater, because it is 75 degrees here, and all of the Indian people are freezing. :) That was the only sweater I brought. It doesn't match, but she still looks cute. :)

Then Madhu was supposed to come to the Children's Home, and meet me, and take me to the Embassy. I went downstairs to the street, and she was not there. I went back up, and had the head "Dee Dee" call. (Dee Dee is their word for big sister, at least that is what it sounds like to me.) Madhu said, "I'm downstairs waiting. I went down, she was not there. I wasn't going to wait on the street with my daughter, or by myself for that matter. I went back up, and asked them to call again. They start talking about me in Hindi.

(The night before Madhu had called me. I had to pay her, of course, and pay for the driver, of course. But she said she couldn't come, and get me, because it was out of the way. I told her I did not have Sonjena, and we had to go get her in the morning. She was a little stern about that. Many of the women here seem a little stern, or bossy, maybe pushy to me. I could say many of them are abrupt, and straight forward. I told her the Children's Home director told me to bring her back for the night, so I did. Then she said sternly, "I do not know this place, how will I find this place?"
I said, "I don't know my way around India." She said to me again, "Jennyfer, I do nowt know dis place?" :) I'm trying to write the Indian accent, it is so cute. And I love the little side to side head shake for agreement, or listening.
I had a brilliant idea to get the address off of one of my documents, so I did. She still did not know where it was. I told her to call V.J. the director, and she would tell her (well, she did not). She told me to meet her there with yet another driver that I paid for, because she could not pick me up, it was too far out of the way, so I did.)

The head Dee Dee gets back on the phone. They are talking very loudly, and emphatically in Hindi. Then she gets off the phone, and tells the second in charge about it. They are both laughing. They have 3 different Children's Homes, the address on my documents was a different one. They all think I am ridiculous. They are laughing, and laughing. I laughed too.

Then Madhu and the driver finally get there a half an hour later. The driver comes up, and is talking to all the Dee Dees, and everyone is laughing. I looked at him, and said, "are you making fun of me?" The driver said, "Yes," and we all laughed again.

So, we were late to the Embassy. There were maybe 200+ Indian people waiting in line for Visas. (Madhu said it was a very slow day.) We go right to the front of the line. It's different for me, because I am an American. Also, adoption cases are different.

As we are sitting there waiting, I can hear an American Embassy worker being stern with an Indian person. He said, "you have given me two different names, and two different passports sir. Now, I know that you are probably desperate to get into the United States, but you can either take these, and turn around, or I can enter them, and you can be charged with misrepresenting yourself." The Indian man continued to fight, and tell him why he had two names. He was there with a wife, and a baby. The American man did not let down either. It went on for quite sometime, and finally the Indian man left without a Visa.

Then a woman who had been in America for a long time wanted to get back in. Her husband had died, and her only family, her daughter, was in America. The woman talking to her was stern as well. She said, "if you have been back in India for four years, it will be very difficult. You have to start the process over."
The woman said, "but that will take so long. I am here all by myself." I didn't hear how that one ended.

Then an American girl came in. She had sort of a hippie style about her. She was maybe in her early twenties. She was telling them that she had to get out of here. That she had to get back home, because of the circumstances (which I did not hear). Then they told her what she had to do and sent her away. She was missing some paperwork. And there were more stories like these. All of them are sad.

Meanwhile, Sonjena did get her Visa. Yeah!!! Sonjena. It took us until 2:30. They close down for lunch completely from 1 until 2. Actually, 2:15. UGH. We waited, and waited, and waited.

Oh, and I brought color books, and a magnadoodle for Sonjena. She had to go potty, and we went in the bathroom of the American Embassy, right, and it is a squatty potty, yes, a hole in the ground, basically. Yikes. I looked at a lady in there, and I was like, "does she," and before I could get the words out, Sonjena was doing it "squatty potty" style. LOL. Too funny.

We came back, and called our new friends from Chicago, Tamara, and baby Taila. We got a driver from our hotel, and we all went shopping. Our driver was amazing. He drove us around showing us monuments, and telling us about them. He took us to a few shops, and we kept telling him they were too expensive. Things are very expensive here because they are real silk, or silver, or ivory. He took us down this back alley. I looked at Tamara, and she looked at me. People were crammed in this alley everywhere. There were stray dogs everywhere. There were people with things piled up 12 feet on bicycles. There were monkeys running between the dogs taunting them. Yes, monkeys. It was a scary alley. I would have never went there without Rajeev. So, I said to him, "you are going in with us, right?" Rajeev said, yes. As soon as we got out, he shoed away the beggers.

Then we went in, and we found a beautiful little shop. It was definitely a diamond in the rough. It had everything we were looking for, and more, at prices we could afford. I even haggled a little. I got both my girls traditional Indian outfits. I got both of them little purses, and little carved elephants. Sonjena wanted a mini statue of the God of mischief. Yeap. Then I saw why tonight, there is a very strange cartoon about him that is popular here.

On the way back to the hotel, poor little Sonjena fell asleep. Then we got back, and ate in the hotel dining room. The bathroom attendant gave Sonjena an unnecessary lesson on Western toilets, because her orphanage had them. Oh, well.

Then back to the room for a shower, and some lice treatments. I gave her a shower, and washed her hair. I then did the lice treatment. I had to leave it in for ten minutes. I wrapped her in tons of towels, but she was shivering, poor little thing. Then I rinsed, and used the lice comb. Oh yes, those nasty little buggers were in there. UGH. So gross. I had never dealt with that before, and I thought I was going to freak out, but I didn't. Yes, I'm such a good mom. I will redo it tomorrow. My sister said if we bring back lice she will kill me. So, I better make sure it's gone. I put footy pajamas on her, and she was warm at last, but she was laughing, and kept pointing to the feet. I think she thinks they are for babies. :) But she is warm, and asleep. I put her on the couch, and told her to go to sleep, and she did. :) She's a good girl. She doesn't know any English. But I am teaching her, and she is learning fast. She's very smart, but she has never been to school, even though they were telling me she had been.

The class system is alive and well here. There are servants everywhere. The head Dee Dee at the orphanage said to me, "you do not have servants in the United States? You do everything yourself? It must be very hard?"
And she will not lift a finger. She tells the servants to bring me tea, and to take it away. She tells them what to clean, and do, and they do it.

Also, I'm getting very used to the people at this hotel treating us like we are some sort of royalty. Always calling me ma'am, and holding the door open, and doing everything the second that I ask, as fast as they can. It's crazy.

(On the way to the orphanage this morning, I said to my driver, "have you ever been to America?" He chuckled very sweetly, and said very sweetly, "only in my dreams Miss. Only in my dreams." And then he smiled at me. I could have cried right then and there.)

Today I saw a man crawling across the street on his nubs. No arms, or legs, just nubs, and in rags. It was very sad. I saw a woman calapsed on the road. That was also hard to see. And again today, there were many many children begging on the streets.

Let's see, what else. I talked to a man on the plane ride over from Amsterdam to India. He said to me, "you know why the plane is so full of Indians?" I said, "no," but I was thinking, because we are on our way to India perhaps. :) He said, "because it is wedding season in India. These are families coming from all over to go to family weddings." There were tons of families, and tons of kids on the plane. It was really cool.

In the Amsterdam airport, I talked to a woman at a shop. She told me that most of the people in Europe can speak 3 or 4 languages. I did not know that. But I think it is very cool. And, so can the people in India. Well, the educated ones anyway.

A really beautiful government building.
That's all for today. Night night from India. :)

My driver said that this is the Indian gate. It is a monument for all of the Indian soldiers who died in WW I. He said, 90,000 Indians died in WW I.

Tamara, and 2 year old Taila.